Leaf Blowers and Whore Houses
The Hills Are Alive
Ah, Spring! Time for us real estate agents to lower the tops of our Mercedes and cruise the Back Country, admiring the daffodils and vernal ponds and shouting to be heard above the roar of leaf blowers. There isn’t a single acre in Greenwich free from the impact of these horrible machines. Every day, beginning at dawn and at our invitation, swarms of (illegal?) aliens strap on these assault weapons and invade our yards, choking entire neighborhoods with dust and the shrieking whine of two-cycle engines. I can’t explain why we tolerate this; quieter machines are manufactured and could certainly be mandated by law. As it is, jets landing at our local airport are required to be quieter than the leaf blower next door. If a barking dog made the nuisance these machines do, someone (not me!) would shoot it.
Location, Location, Location
There are number of nice houses currently on the market whose prices reflect their location near a “negative” detraction. For instance, Joan Suter’s listing at 104 River Road in Cos Cob is offered for $819,000. This house was recently stripped down to its studs and completely rebuilt. It’s a nifty job, but it is located across from the old Palmer Engine factory and close to the Post Road. The price is discounted from what it would “otherwise” fetch, and offers more house for the money than others in its price range. Similarly, Ray Renslow has a listing at 14 Stag Lane. Four bedrooms with a pool on four acres abutting the Merritt Parkway. The highway is loud; not as loud as trucks on 1-95 but loud all the same (outside-the inside of the house is very quiet). But at $1,275,000 someone can get a far better house, at a worse location, than what he or she could otherwise afford. So both of these houses make sense. Trouble comes, sometimes, when someone buys this kind of house at a discount and then gets used to whatever had caused the low price to begin with: railroad tracks, for instance. When they resell they insist on pricing the house as though the house were in a perfect location. Bad move.
Off North Street
One house with no location problems is Blanche O’Connell’s listing at 31 Lindsay Drive. Almost 5,000SF, renovated in 1997, heated pool, 2 acres, 5 bedrooms, nice grounds. I like to estimate prices before looking at the listing sheet and I guessed $3.5 million on this one. Asking price is $3.45. If the mark of genius is the extent someone agrees with you, Blanche is one smart woman.
No Address On This One
Just saw a house that I think is a million dollars over-priced. On a three million dollar home, that’s quite a miscalculation and I wonder what the owner was thinking. A “renovation” in name only, the master bedroom was built without a bath or shower, the “pool” is merely a possible site and the house itself is tiny, at least for this range. The literature boasts that the building can be expanded to 7,000 SF but it’s priced as though that had already been done. It has not. If, as a seller you won’t trust your broker’s advice, at least get out and view some other houses in the price range you are considering. Your buyers will be comparing values, why don’t you?
Commercial Real Estate
Readers with a long memory may recall the incident a decade ago when a Greenwich policeman conducting a private, under-the-covers investigation at a local massage parlor attempted to break up a robbery while wearing nothing but his towel and badge. The poor fellow was knocked down, his gun and his badge were stolen and a rather frantic search for same was conducted on the Post Road. That story was disinfected and buried almost as quickly as news of it flashed across the police scanner but justice of sorts was eventually done: fully clothed state health inspectors visited the same establishment a year ago and were shocked to discover that services other than massage were being offered by unlicensed personnel. The place was closed. I recently noticed that it has re-opened as a nail salon, open 24 hours a day. Why the burly men entering through the back door should require manicures at 10:00 PM is a bit of a mystery but it’s a wonderful testament to the entrepreneurial spirit of the proprietors that they’re willing to meet that need. Seven days a week.
Ah, Spring! Time for us real estate agents to lower the tops of our Mercedes and cruise the Back Country, admiring the daffodils and vernal ponds and shouting to be heard above the roar of leaf blowers. There isn’t a single acre in Greenwich free from the impact of these horrible machines. Every day, beginning at dawn and at our invitation, swarms of (illegal?) aliens strap on these assault weapons and invade our yards, choking entire neighborhoods with dust and the shrieking whine of two-cycle engines. I can’t explain why we tolerate this; quieter machines are manufactured and could certainly be mandated by law. As it is, jets landing at our local airport are required to be quieter than the leaf blower next door. If a barking dog made the nuisance these machines do, someone (not me!) would shoot it.
Location, Location, Location
There are number of nice houses currently on the market whose prices reflect their location near a “negative” detraction. For instance, Joan Suter’s listing at 104 River Road in Cos Cob is offered for $819,000. This house was recently stripped down to its studs and completely rebuilt. It’s a nifty job, but it is located across from the old Palmer Engine factory and close to the Post Road. The price is discounted from what it would “otherwise” fetch, and offers more house for the money than others in its price range. Similarly, Ray Renslow has a listing at 14 Stag Lane. Four bedrooms with a pool on four acres abutting the Merritt Parkway. The highway is loud; not as loud as trucks on 1-95 but loud all the same (outside-the inside of the house is very quiet). But at $1,275,000 someone can get a far better house, at a worse location, than what he or she could otherwise afford. So both of these houses make sense. Trouble comes, sometimes, when someone buys this kind of house at a discount and then gets used to whatever had caused the low price to begin with: railroad tracks, for instance. When they resell they insist on pricing the house as though the house were in a perfect location. Bad move.
Off North Street
One house with no location problems is Blanche O’Connell’s listing at 31 Lindsay Drive. Almost 5,000SF, renovated in 1997, heated pool, 2 acres, 5 bedrooms, nice grounds. I like to estimate prices before looking at the listing sheet and I guessed $3.5 million on this one. Asking price is $3.45. If the mark of genius is the extent someone agrees with you, Blanche is one smart woman.
No Address On This One
Just saw a house that I think is a million dollars over-priced. On a three million dollar home, that’s quite a miscalculation and I wonder what the owner was thinking. A “renovation” in name only, the master bedroom was built without a bath or shower, the “pool” is merely a possible site and the house itself is tiny, at least for this range. The literature boasts that the building can be expanded to 7,000 SF but it’s priced as though that had already been done. It has not. If, as a seller you won’t trust your broker’s advice, at least get out and view some other houses in the price range you are considering. Your buyers will be comparing values, why don’t you?
Commercial Real Estate
Readers with a long memory may recall the incident a decade ago when a Greenwich policeman conducting a private, under-the-covers investigation at a local massage parlor attempted to break up a robbery while wearing nothing but his towel and badge. The poor fellow was knocked down, his gun and his badge were stolen and a rather frantic search for same was conducted on the Post Road. That story was disinfected and buried almost as quickly as news of it flashed across the police scanner but justice of sorts was eventually done: fully clothed state health inspectors visited the same establishment a year ago and were shocked to discover that services other than massage were being offered by unlicensed personnel. The place was closed. I recently noticed that it has re-opened as a nail salon, open 24 hours a day. Why the burly men entering through the back door should require manicures at 10:00 PM is a bit of a mystery but it’s a wonderful testament to the entrepreneurial spirit of the proprietors that they’re willing to meet that need. Seven days a week.
posted by Chris Fountain at 1:24 PM
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